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Sam's Column
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Issue 8 - "and now the end is near"
sam gregory - sam's column
Sam Gregory (15) lives in Kilburn and was in year 11 at John Flamsteed Community School, Denby.
All Things Local, in conjunction with the school gave the opportunity to one pupil to run their own regular column for the past 12 months.

Well it is almost over, I have completed all my articles for this fabulous magazine and this is my last one. I have really enjoyed my time writing for All Things Local and it has been a great experience for me in many ways. I hope over these last twelve months I have made you laugh, cry and try some different things. But it is not only my All Things Local journalism career that is over, no, I have just finished my GCSEs and am leaving school.

After my friends and I had finished our last exam we did not rush around school telling teachers all the things we have wanted to say for five years, although that would have been an eventful afternoon, instead we sat and reminisced about all the good times we have had and some of the more funny ones as well.

I am sure that some of you reading this will remember your school days as the happiest of your life, being caned by teachers and regularly beaten. And it never did you any harm did it! All those times you nearly blew up the science lab because there was no such thing as the health and safety police to spoil your fun and to stop you throwing acid at each other. The most damage you could have done with acid at our school was to wet someone’s book and make the ink run.

P.E was also very different back when men were men and used to do things like murder ball, I heard about this and it is a very interesting game. You had two teams of about twenty boys and there was a medicine ball in the middle of the room, on the whistle the boys would charge forward and you had to get the ball to the other teams end. It was a simple game with only one rule, there were no rules, and if you survived to see the end of the lesson you passed.

Nowadays a P.E teacher has to fill in at least one risk assessment form per hour just incase little Jimmy gets hit by a foam javelin in the hand and it may leave a small bruise, or some moron decides to show off by climbing up the walls like Spider-Man and falling down because, clearly, he does not have the ability to fly.

Teachers were the most important aspect of any child’s life at school. You would never have dared to backchat a teacher because you know it would have earned you a back hander which would send you sprawling across the classroom with a great red welt on your ‘cheek’. It seems that now a teacher cannot even shout at a child without being sued for causing severe trauma and the poor kid now has to have counselling in case it ever happens again.

Do not get me wrong I’ve loved my schooldays, they’ve been the happiest times I have had, but they were probably also the safest as I was never in any danger.

I would just like to say thank you to All Things Local for the great opportunity I’ve been given, I have really enjoyed writing these columns for you to read and I hope you have had as much fun reading them as I did writing them. It has been a great learning experience so thank you again and goodbye… for now.

By Sam Gregory


All Things Local would like to give another school pupil the opportunity to write their own column for the next 12 months. All you have to do is attend one of the schools in any of the areas listed on the front cover and be starting your final year in September 2008.

Articles should be emailed to; by 5 September 2008 – include your name, age and which school you attend. Your article should be no more than 600 words long and can be about any subject that you feel passionate about.

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