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Life with V by Valerie Spencer Becks
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Issue 9 - Weight...
Life with V by Valerie Spencer Becks

‘Life with V’ – written by Valerie Spencer Becks
from Belper.

Valerie or ‘V’ is well known locally for
her beautiful wedding cakes but you will see that
Valerie has an excellent talent for portraying her
own take on everyday life in a most humorous

Billions of pounds are spent on trying to shift it every year. The government is telling us that we are a population of seriously overweight and obese adults and I should know because I am one.

Iíve noticed that when you go to the doctor with something as trivial as a hang nail you are told it is because you are overweight. If your left earlobe hurts, itís because youíre overweight, but actually ask for any help to lose that same weight and you are met with blank stares and no help at all.

I am doing my best to do something about shifting some of it, if only lettuce leaves tasted like chocolate it would be so much easier. However I have joined Slimming World which is fantastic and I walk the dogs regularly, but decided I needed to up my exercise to get me and my weight loss moving.

Swimming and walking are the two best exercises for very overweight people which makes sense so I called around the gyms to see if I could get a swimming only membership. NO CHANCE. Unless you are prepared to pay out a fortune to not use their torture equipment youíve had it. They have no interest in my dilemma other than trying to take my money for something Iíd never use.

I have had my share of exercise bikes that became clothes hangers, treadmills that became a bed for the dog, steppers that never took a step Ė I simply want to go for a swim to help me shed some pounds. Between walking the beasts and going for a swim I thought that would be a good and sensible exercise programme, but no can do Ė well the swimming part of it anyway.

Then I decided I needed some exercise/walking clothes and particularly, in view of our lovely summers, something waterproof. I have since come to the conclusion that whoever makes clothes thinks fat people donít go out in the rain. Perhaps they think we will shrink if we get wet Ė if only it were that easy Iíd go stand out in it all summer.

I have noted that clothes manufacturers and gyms, in particular, clearly do not understand that ladies larger than a size 16 do like to get out and about, do like to go for nice long walks and do need the clothes to do it in.

Having recently spent copious amounts of time on the internet trying to find a waterproof jacket for walking in I have concluded that anybody larger than a size 16 doesnít go out in the rain and doesnít exercise.

Some have suggested buying a manís jacket. Now perhaps it is just me but there are some fundamental differences between a womanís body and a manís. Namely, that men have no hips or breasts (usually) and their clothes are made accordingly. So in order to wear a mans jacket that fits on the hips one needs a jacket that is about 12 sizes too big on the top and has arms so long that you end up bearing a rather striking resemblance to an orangutan.

So if there are any budding entrepreneurs out there with deep pockets I think you should open a club for us fatties where we can go for a swim and buy clothes made for us that we can be comfortable in. Youíd make a fortune.

Iíve just checked my pockets and donít think 85p will do it!!!!

Take care for now.


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