Do other dogs out there think their humans are a bit odd?

For example: I allow my human to sleep on my bed because I do sometimes like to play tug of war at 1:00 in the morning – you would think my human would be humbled that I want to play with it, but no it gets all grumpy and when I give it a quick kick to make it move over a bit it gets even grumpier.

Then it gets up in the morning and instead of taking me for my walk straight away, it trots downstairs to have a cup of this horrible smelling brown liquid they call coffee. I have to sit and stare at my human for at least 15 minutes and sometimes go and get my lead before it finally gets the hint. It then usually says “did you want to go for a walk” – dah!! They really are a bit dim aren’t they?

I have finally managed to get it trained to the point where it does get my breakfast when we get back before it does anything else – I’d do it myself but I can’t open the tins. I did try to go into the butchers in town yesterday as it’s good food in there and not in tins but all humans seem to have a problem with this - perhaps their food isn’t good enough for us!

Then they do this very odd thing and please do pardon the delicate subject matter. Have any of you noticed that when you go to the bathroom in the morning (or any other time), that your human collects it in a bag. I can’t help but wonder why they want to collect it and what they do with it. You certainly wouldn’t find a dog walking around with bags of it, well below our level of dignity. If any of you can shed any light on this do let me know.

Well, there is a bird in the garden that needs chasing so I will get on with my chores and will fill you in on more of my human’s peculiarities and my coming and goings in my next column – they really are a fascinating species to study!

Until next time!

Scrambles x